NTRI’s Capital Weightloss Plan
I always thought it would be funny to invent something that loses money perpetually. You could go long, buy calls (they would be reduced to zero), or whatever. There would never be shares available to short. Ever. You know, a perpetually negative motion machine.
I think NTRI is the best vehicle for said plan. This stock has no patent portfolio, and it’s intrinsic value is viz., 1.17.
Shares are meeting their maker AH, 24 (-12.47).
Incidentally, I stole some food last night. It was terrible. If I was fat, and I had to eat those rubbery clown-noodles, I’d probably commit seppuku in the town square.
These pictures are evidence enough. NTRI sucks every part of the furthest nether-reaches of a horse’s asshole. It is a stock for people who need to offset capital gains.
danny–
Movie called “Awake” (starring Jessica Alba) coming out near the end of November. The movie is about a guy(Hayden Christensen) who is awake yet paralyzed under anesthesia.
A company called Aspect Medical (ASPM) makes a device called the BIS monitor. This device registers brain wave activity in a similar fashion as an EEG(electroencephalogram). These brain waves are interpreted into a number which the BIS monitor provides. This number gauges whether someone is awake and alert under anesthesia.
ASPM– Short Interest as % of Float 27.49%
October 24th, 2007 at 3:59:00 pmThey reported today, should be able to pick some up near the 52 week low tomorrow.
If your going to research it the headline to look under is “anesthesia awareness”.
October 24th, 2007 at 4:13:00 pmLink on movie “Awake”
October 24th, 2007 at 4:18:00 pmgreat post.
October 24th, 2007 at 8:41:00 pmthnx cheese for the ideas and VMW lockout date.
fly - thanks. Firsthand discovery, in the HANS vein. Odd, no?
October 24th, 2007 at 9:18:00 pmNice look to the blog.
October 24th, 2007 at 10:55:00 pmYes, I agree on the new look for the blog. Looks real good. Sniffing the burning embers in the air has given you new creativity.
October 25th, 2007 at 3:24:00 amBoone, hilarious post.
In other, not so hilarious news, a few weeks ago you remarked VDSI could miss by a penny and get kicked down to the 20s.
Boy, were you right. I hope you were out of the name. I was out last week.
October 25th, 2007 at 6:19:00 amShed-
Me and you both.
With the new law requiring all high risk patients being tested, earnings should continue to be strong.
October 25th, 2007 at 9:11:00 amthanks for the comments guys.
re VDSI, lol.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:23:00 pmDanny I rushed thru this the first time I saw it. Now its Saturday Morning and this is one of the funniest posts I’ve seen in weeks. I’m going to paste it a few times.
October 27th, 2007 at 6:49:00 amthanks kc, mad props
October 27th, 2007 at 1:37:00 pm[...] Once upon I time, I penned this thoughtful article. [...]
February 19th, 2008 at 2:25:25 pm[...] of old Nutritional Systems. [Please read my other hilarious NTRI ramblings here: Darfur 2: NTRI, NTRI: A Capital Weightloss Plan, and finally NTRI: A Capital [Weight]loss Plan [...]
August 14th, 2008 at 4:41:52 pm