Ever since DT shut down the rampant sack of gay he called a “third-tier,” there has been a noticeable lack of ranting over market minutia that quite frankly, I miss. No insult, no lies.

Oh, and the UCB reference? Awesome. You all have handled my ass pennies. I fucking love that show.

Anyway, I am about to try my hand at the DT craft.

FUCK THE HYBRID MARKET.

FUCK MARKET MAKERS.

FUCK SPECIALISTS.

FUCK ME.

Off to Romania…

Yes, things are that heinous around here.

Position Update: CHK

Yesterday I posted that I was shorting the stock, with a stated stop of 47.

This morning, at about 6:20 AM, I got a little nervous. Schwab was fucking up.

I COULDN’T CONNECT TO SCHWAB’S QUOTE SERVER (or iBC), due to some formal “fuck you” orchestrated by, I can only assume, Bernanke himself.

The straw the broke the trader’s pleather chair.

Due to no quotes (immeasurably lame and all-around gay), I opted for the popular Lenny Dskstra method of “set it and forget it” as I proffered 2/3 of my short shares at $46.93 stop. Instead of $47.

Really, I didn’t need a stop since I was going to watch it all day, but with spotty quotes and an impending shower, I couldn’t risk not doing it for my 20 minute absence. This is what saved me on my (MTL: 5.28 -8.97%) short when that thing blew up.

My old stop was $47 to give myself leeway for the anticipated jerk-off spike up, but I decided to shave 7¢ off that. I changed it to the two day high (46.70) + a half a percent.

$46.93, set it and forget it.

This 7¢ difference was an attempt to mildly ameliorate the anticipated cost of giving the last 1/3 the “5 min close above 47″ treatment. I didn’t expect to come out of the shower and see it at $47.25, but anything is possible.

Spoiler: I got fucked. Straight robbed. The highest tip of this chart is my fucking servant covering my shares while I wash.

When I saw what happened, I initially got pissed at the fucking cunt in NY laughing at me, shouting profanities at no one, but that attitude doesn’t put butter in the skillet. It was back underneath the 10-minute again. Undeterred, I re shorted. I will point out though that this is some bum-fucking luck. Cryin’ out loud here.

There have been times I sold the day high, and though rare, it was bound to happen again.

The first hour or so. Each tick is a minute.

NET: -$ (8.00)

An eight dollar unrealized loss despite shorting yesterday.

Odd.

At least I still have that last 1/3 c/b of 46.41. I will add tomorrow, on this strength. This is still going to be a money making trade, but wow, talk about a shit-show.