The Important Matter of Stock Trading Robots
So, for months, I’ve been seeing this “stock robot” trading machine ad, all over the net. From time to time, it would pop up on my blog too; so I bought one.
The “stock trading robot” was delivered in a metal box, about half the size of a coffin. I’m sure my neighbors thought “The Fly” was having dead monkey’s delivered to his house. Very nice.
Fuck them.
After the delivery men left, I opened the mini-coffin and turned the robot on—thinking this ugly fucker was my next meal ticket.
At first, he was just an ordinary robot, with stupid movements and “low-IQ-ish” behavior.
But, I noticed he was picking up on some of my mannerisms, such as asking for coffee, then pouring it into an idle Starbucks cup.
Crazy shit.
After getting familiar with this robot, I decided it was time to see what the fucker could do at the trading desk.
One day, me and this coffee pouring robot stepped into the office, much to everyone else’s chagrin. I introduced the “stock robot” to everyone, declaring: “take a good look at your future replacement.” I even programmed the robot to say cool things, like: “fuck you, you’re dead” and “your Mother is a goat milker.”
He would constantly say that shit. Good times.
So anyway, seeing the robot trade for about a week, I was somewhat unimpressed. I mean, all that fucker would do is buy MVIS, sell short CWTR, then automatically throw something at my trader/servant— every 47 1/2 minutes (I programmed him to do that).
With the amount of money I paid for this fucker, I thought he was going to make me billions. Instead, this shitcan ended up short circuiting himself, via pouring an entire pot of hot hot coffee over his dumb robot head.
A terrible way to die, indeed.
The moral of the story: “stock trading robots”are fucktards and they don’t work. Keep those fucking robots in the factories and out of the trading room.
Trust me.
I think Tom Brady is a robot.
November 19th, 2007 at 12:56 amPerhaps.
November 19th, 2007 at 1:01 ammoral of story: hey, robots are only as good as the fucktards who program them
so don’t take it out on your robot, fuckface
‘cute’ story
the Fry wins again
in further deveropments; asian robots not coopelating,
November 19th, 2007 at 1:07 amyet
Aussie robots are.
Fuck you too.
November 19th, 2007 at 1:11 amrobots suck
November 19th, 2007 at 1:15 amparradium & pratinum down … jj throws himself off bridge
November 19th, 2007 at 1:17 amThis post is classic. Bravo, fucker fly.
November 19th, 2007 at 1:36 amFavorite post of all-time, you must add it to your site for new readers:
http://flyonwallstreet.blogspot.com/2007/09/important-matter-jack-convict.html
November 19th, 2007 at 1:45 amRagin’:
All of my Important Matters are on this site.
Check the front page scroll or Important Matter tag.
November 19th, 2007 at 1:51 amHere it is:
November 19th, 2007 at 1:53 amhttp://www.ibankcoin.com/flyblog/index.php/2007/11/10/25/
indeed.
November 19th, 2007 at 1:55 amchinamen coming off lows … bear trap, developing
November 19th, 2007 at 2:13 amI am having a great feeling about today. Can you say +200?
November 19th, 2007 at 2:47 amFly used the word “chagrin” in a blog post. TAKE A DRINK!
November 19th, 2007 at 3:00 ami think bulls’n bears duke it out today with bulls getting late victory like friday
November 19th, 2007 at 3:50 amHelly, the FLY:
Long Time No See since you moved into this new big coin bank mansion.
I dropped a bomb shell on Seeking Alpha. What do you think?
November 19th, 2007 at 3:56 amJJ,
FSLR to $300
November 19th, 2007 at 4:29 amCajun:
No, FSLR will be dead in a few months. How many people will be reading that SeekingAlpha article, and forward to friend? How many will decide it’s a good idea to hoard some tellurium? A decent individual investor can easily buy one ton. If there are just 10 or 20 in whe whole world deciding to buy tellurium, FSLR will be knocked out of profit margin, and be gone in a year or so.
November 19th, 2007 at 6:15 amJJ / Mark Anthony:
1st of all: were you the Mark Anthony that married Cleopatra in a past life & is it true that you proposed with the largest tellurium ring ever, in a (futile) attempt to corner the market & ensure a profitable future short position in FSLR?
2nd: You’re too smart for your own good. You have the brain virus, shortcircuitus which causes one to come up with worthless investment theories that sound airtight on paper and seem to ensure ones dream of 60-100 folds return on investment. Then this virus causes tunnel vision & forces all facts to conform to its theory and blinds one to the big picture.
In short: FSLR to 300, before 100. SWC to 5 before 13 & PAL to 2 before 8.
Suggestion: Get laid.
November 19th, 2007 at 7:16 amWow, that’s some crazy shit, JJ. I woke up this morning and there were 5 messages on my “stock trading phone’s” answering machine, all of them somewhat breathless asking me if I had read the “important” article on Seeking Alpha about FSLR.
This may be the best idea ever, shorting the strongest stock in a weak market. You’re short from what, $120, $130?
Meanwhile, how’s that SWC working out?
In short JJ, you should learn how to swing a hammer or rake leaves, because if you follow through with your trading “ideas” you’ll be poor soon. However, I somehow think that it’s that type of suggestion that feeds your belief that you’re “the next Warren Buffett.” You probably call yourself a contrarian.
-DT
November 19th, 2007 at 7:44 amHot hot coffee lives on!
November 19th, 2007 at 7:46 amMeanwhile, it’s interesting that JJ pops up on a post about “stock trading robots.”
Good stuff, Fly, thanks!
-DT
November 19th, 2007 at 7:55 amDT: egg-zacktly! re: JJ pooping up on this t-robot thread
you can’t make this stuff up
November 19th, 2007 at 8:02 amSHOES
November 19th, 2007 at 8:19 amOrlando Magic wins again. I could care less about the NBA but its a free doughnut at Dunkin’ Donuts’ for every win. I am eating a chocolate glazed one now.
November 19th, 2007 at 8:21 amI’m still looking for a t-day rally … we’ll come off these lows & have a good close , imo
bear rally only … jack be nimble, jack be quick because jack is gonna get his balls lit come 2008
2008 spx target = 1150
November 19th, 2007 at 9:59 amSo, light trading day and I’m thinking…should I book my BOOM profits, or hold for the “Red Suit Rally?”
I’m up about 180k from Oct 22nd. Do I push for more coin, or do I take the money and run?
November 19th, 2007 at 10:00 ambig undertow out there … big rip
November 19th, 2007 at 10:10 amLet the rally begin with me!
http://www.michigansuits.com/images/Michigan_T_Red_Camera.jpg
November 19th, 2007 at 10:12 ami got one word for y’all : Word O’D-day
==========> TELLURIUM
how do you spell that JJ?
P A I N
thats right smartass … PAIN !
git used to it
November 19th, 2007 at 10:12 amSend in the special agents!
http://www.flightsuits.com/images/info/stp.jpg
November 19th, 2007 at 10:12 amJJ what’s your max pain on FSLR?
November 19th, 2007 at 10:13 amI believe!
http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/icliverpool/feb2003/5/0/00013D96-9445-1E5B-A0A680BFB6FA0000.jpg
November 19th, 2007 at 10:13 amThe Fly sends The Fly a secret message viz red suit:
http://home.swipnet.se/popmart/images/bono.jpg
November 19th, 2007 at 10:14 amI’ve got palladium in my pants! We need a rally!
http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper144/stills/4iiqza32.jpg
November 19th, 2007 at 10:15 amCan I spoke the Red Man Rally peace pipe? Look, this is how I’ll do it:
http://www.manilowsmodems.com/news2004janeredJPG.jpg
November 19th, 2007 at 10:16 amhttp://www.mtv.com/shared/media/news/images/m/Mudvayne/sq-mudvayne-veins-red-suits-02-press-epc.jpg
WE WOULD LIKE A RALLY OR WE WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL.
November 19th, 2007 at 10:17 amIn the spirit of Red Suits
November 19th, 2007 at 10:32 amI’m daytrading SMH,AMAT,INTC, and Q’s here for a long. I’ll be out soon if no turnaround.
November 19th, 2007 at 10:46 amThis post was pretty dam funny.
November 20th, 2007 at 2:55 amI couldn’t understand some parts of this article The Important Matter of Stock Trading Robots, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.
November 21st, 2007 at 11:17 pmred suit your a douche bag. Juice now thats a nice red suit.
November 27th, 2007 at 10:11 pmfuck it.
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January 1st, 2008 at 10:34 pmMake peace, not war!
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January 19th, 2008 at 3:09 amThanks for sharing
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February 24th, 2008 at 4:36 pmI’d prefer reading in my native language, because my knowledge of your languange is no so well.
March 24th, 2008 at 3:57 amWe will burn that bridge when we come to it.–Nick Gorski
July 15th, 2008 at 9:36 am