Late Night Thought
March 5, 2008 – 8:26 pm
I have a myriad of “ass banks” worth shorting to zero.
Developing…
UPDATE: Behold ASSBANK!
In other news, I just went over the balance sheets of 75 banks and asset managers. Let me tell you, many of them will be zeroed out, within two years. For starters, sink your teeth into (DSL: 0.21 -32.26%), (FED: 4.22 -12.45%) and (CLMS: 3.50 -16.07%).
UPDATE II: Oh, and for good measure, an old position of mine (stupid, stupid) (CORS: 1.425 -26.17%) has half of its cash reserves in a portfolio of BANK STOCKS. Talk about egregious mismanagement of capital.
“Ass bank?”
Dude… change that.
Look, I have all this free time in the month of March since I’m not blogging. I’ll spend it here to help you become a better “Fly.”
-DT
March 5th, 2008 at 8:30 pmI have a better idea, DT. Come down here to Richmond and babysit for a couple of days. The wife and I need a few nights out. We pay 5 bucks an hour.
March 5th, 2008 at 8:33 pmPut these in the “ass bank.”
Meanwhile, Shed, you bump it up to $7.50 and you got a deal.
-DT
March 5th, 2008 at 8:34 pmYes, “Ass Bank.”
In due time, you will realize how much smarter I am than you.
March 5th, 2008 at 8:34 pmSounds like a bad porn flick…
Meanwhile, I wonder if “IAssBankCoin” is available…
-DT
March 5th, 2008 at 8:37 pmDT- you got a deal.
Fly, DT is right. “Ass bank” is weak. I’m not used to such lazy wordsmithing from you. Tighten up.
March 5th, 2008 at 8:43 pmDT wins again!
-DT
March 5th, 2008 at 8:43 pmDT, that video is fucking hilarious.
Makes me wonder about Fly’s ass bank.
March 5th, 2008 at 8:49 pmNow you know where all the confidence and bravado comes from…
Paypal is a good system afterall.
-DT
March 5th, 2008 at 8:56 pm‘Ass Bank’ sounds like a brothel.
” I own an ass bank. I loan out some ass and bank some coin “.
Sounds like a good name for a strip club.
” Hey guy lets head over to the ‘Ass Bank’ ”
March 5th, 2008 at 8:58 pm” I got a lap dance from a chick named Candy who works over at the ‘Ass Bank’”
Fly probably should go to an ass bank. He has no ass, gets no ass, and, he is totally assless, except that he is one giant sucking ass at picking stocks. hahaha!!!
March 5th, 2008 at 9:14 pmBTW Fly, how’s that FXP working out for ya? Bwahaha!!
March 5th, 2008 at 9:15 pmWhat if the name of the company was “Ass Bank?”
Would that make it funny?
March 5th, 2008 at 9:16 pmMEAT:
Sold FXP today for a, get this, 15 point profit.
Check the archives, fuckface.
Fly wins, yet again.
March 5th, 2008 at 9:17 pmBreakfast Meat, you used to be Breakfast Taco, no? You did that post on MVIS on the old blog, right?
March 5th, 2008 at 9:17 pmAs long as that video exists of the dude sticking pennies in his ass for confidence, Ass Bank will always be funny.
March 5th, 2008 at 9:19 pmmvis is for immigrants.
March 5th, 2008 at 9:19 pmWood,
It’s true, by bringing that video to light, I saved this post and with it, “the Fly.”
-DT
March 5th, 2008 at 9:21 pmNo you did not.
As you will soon learn, quitter, the actual name of the company is ASS BANK.
I will short such equities on pure principal.
March 5th, 2008 at 9:23 pmThe banks are “assed out”
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=assed out
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ass out
March 5th, 2008 at 9:25 pmFly, the first time I noticed you mention FXP was yesterday. I got the impression that you had just established your position. If in fact you had just sold I think that your entire post was grossly misleading.
Woodshedder, No I am not the breakfast taco to whom you refer.
March 5th, 2008 at 9:25 pmI’m not a “quitter” I am a “hiatus-er.”
Meanwhile, if there is such a company, named Ass Bank, I think it’s not worth shorting, as the information is already “priced in” to the shares.
-DT
March 5th, 2008 at 9:26 pmFly, what the fuck are you waiting for. Lets see this Ass Bank.
Until then, DT wins.
March 5th, 2008 at 9:26 pmCajun got “assed” by Danny last night.
Okay, enough of this shit… despite what the time stamps say, I don’t live in the Mountain time zone. Time for sleep.
-DT
March 5th, 2008 at 9:29 pmFly banks asscoin!
HAHAAHAHAHAHA
March 5th, 2008 at 9:35 pmpiggy bank
blood bank
river bank
snow bank
west bank
outer bank
first two are my favs. ass bank is…well… very ’shed, you know?
March 5th, 2008 at 9:36 pmThe sign outside ass Bank
March 5th, 2008 at 9:39 pmaboove link was wrong
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ass+out
March 5th, 2008 at 9:42 pmfood bank
sperm bank
March 5th, 2008 at 9:43 pmhey fly — just curious if you were still long CMO? … thinking of shorting this thing. TMA margin calls show that nothing MBS related is safe … anyways just food for thought.
March 5th, 2008 at 9:52 pmThe actor, George Hamilton, on the subprime bonus compensation issue:
http://tinyurl.com/2r2bol
March 5th, 2008 at 10:21 pmStill long CMO, for the divi’s.
Breakfast:
Check my Fly Buys, then go fuck yourself.
How’s that?
March 5th, 2008 at 10:21 pmASSBANK REVEALED.
Post updated.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:22 pmlol..
Ass Bank chart looks like every other bank chart.
I can rest easy now that I know you weren’t advocating shoving pennies in your ass.
That FED chart looks promising. Can we get a break of 30?
March 5th, 2008 at 10:28 pmI’d be careful of that long position fly — their underlying collateral is shaky at best and when its levered 10x — things could get ugly.
FYI — Check the vol on Apr / Mar Put options on NLY. May have you 2nd guessing your bet.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:35 pmPut the fucking charts away. Go look at the financials of the mentioned companies. They’re all going to zero.
CLMS has 5 Auction Rate Security Funds being raped. Massive outflows of capital.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:36 pmFerrari:
Even if it zeroed out on me, it would be non-material. Plus, I’m still up 3 bucks.
From what I understand, they have very little risk. I believe the stock has been getting hit, due to an underlying current that says the Fed cannot cut rates, thanks to inflation.
If so, CMO goes lower.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:38 pmFly, it actually says “ASSOC BANK” when you click on it. A sock bank is not the same as an ass bank.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:38 pmBut I agree, any bank with “DOWN” in the title (i.e. “DOWNEY FINANCIAL”) is a short.
Also for CLMS: check their CLMS growth fund (the biggest one) … here is a list of their top 5 holdings — what a train wreck
Top 5 Holdings Get Price Quotes Sector YTD Return % % Net Assets
Apple, Inc.* Hardware -37.15 4.74 %
Google, Inc.* Business Services -35.25 4.59 %
Research in Motion, Ltd.* Hardware -10.29 2.92 %
Gilead Sciences, Inc.* Healthcare 6.48 2.87 %
Nike, Inc. B* Consumer Goods -5.34 2.15 %
http://quicktake.morningstar.com/FundNet/Snapshot.aspx?Country=USA&pgid=hetopquote&Symbol=CVGRX
March 5th, 2008 at 10:39 pmAnd this is why I don’t use pennies. Or change/cash, for that matter. Sooo 20th century.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:44 pmYea … I’m just saying plus $3 is better than a 0 or a negative right? (Plus that $3 gain on a $16 stock is probably alot more annualized) Anyways they haven’t missed a beat this year and I think the risks are rising. The underlying assets are so-called “AAA” MBS, they are levered 10x and there is tons of selling going on in the secondary for agency debt right now. If you were a lender — wouldn’t you ask for them to put up a bit more capital?
March 5th, 2008 at 10:44 pmHmm.
In the industry, ASBC is abbreviated and called ASS BANK.
So sorry you are not in the know.
March 5th, 2008 at 10:44 pmJisum what the ass am I walking into here? Good research though Marty. It is true that BSC MS and LEH are insolvent, however all kinds of shit will be pulled before that is allowed to manifest itself. It is better to pick off the weak goats in the herd. I do liek very musch Tuco’s kill candidates though in the strip mall space. Not as good as strip club space, don’t short Rick’s if you know what’s good for you. As for me, I do not know what to say any more. My biggest short today was facefucked by JImmy Jimbo the Magic Leaping Talking Baboon. Looks like him and Benioff had a jerk party together and Benioff is now the greatest CEO in the world of tech. I know people from Brooklyn who would call him a thief by law. 550mil for Benioff 65 for shareholders.Anyhow, like Jimmy the leaping baboon says , are you diversified?
March 6th, 2008 at 1:26 amFED will indeed get “ass banked”. I researched them a lot in the past. Peanut Gallery post to follow.
March 6th, 2008 at 2:03 amShort TLT going into NFP tomorrow.
March 6th, 2008 at 4:13 amCMO is getting SLAMMED in the premarket
March 6th, 2008 at 6:13 amHAHAHA!! CMO, what a dog! Should’ve sold Fly. They’ll probably cancel the divi too. HAHAHA!!
March 6th, 2008 at 7:16 amBreakfast Meat,
Why don’t you post some of your grand ideas in the peanut gallery? I would love to give you a myriad of 1 star votes.
March 6th, 2008 at 7:24 am[...] the Fly called out FED as an “Ass Bank” last night, here’s a re-run (with a few updates) of a “Gun to the Head” pick I [...]
March 6th, 2008 at 7:27 amHuh… Slightly addled, but on the whole I like this post. You’ve got some fresh ideas. But please, write more lucid.
April 6th, 2008 at 12:53 pm