iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,460 Blog Posts

A Gameplan for the Internet

Click here to view iBC’s dictionary, 2008 edition.

While many market participants live inside a shark bag, in a constant state of fear from, well, the fucking shark, “The Fly” aka “Horatio Clawhammer” has been pole vaulting on you fucking homos since the days of the Civil War (“The Fly” was a stock broker in all of his previous lives).

Today was a rather odd day at the office, as basic resource stocks melted up, while banks were met with brass knuckled jabs to the teeth. Holding a rich cash position, more than 35%, I’ve been pondering over some good pair trades, while sipping, mind you, never drinking, numerous glasses of cognac. Should you ever meet me in person, NEVER ask me to drink with you, for I will not.

Anyway, I’ve concluded that there are many emotionally disturbed individuals with vast sums of dollars at their disposal, hell bent on seeing stocks go up, if only for awhile.

Thus far, I am long select banks, like C and BAC, along with FAS to hedge FAZ. However, that’s just me throwing shit against the wall. Bank stocks are grossly idiotic investments and should always be paired.

Into a rally, as sure as I’m sitting here, internet stocks will catch fire. People love buying those names, when times are good. Hell, already we’ve seen a huge run up in semiconductor names. There is no fucking way semis can run, without a little net action.

The basic fundies of the net are good, with traffic perpetually increasing, as people say “fuck off” to their televisions/newspapers and say “hello” to websites, like iBankCoin.

How can I not be somewhat bullish on the internet?

Anyway, the knee-jerk pick is GOOG, due to their overall dominance. But there are other names worth a look. Plus, I fucking hate google.

For example: AKAM

Generally, CDN’s like Akami have been hammered by price wars and other players entering the field. However, with two of their competitors on the ropes, LLNW and LVLT, AKAM may gain some traction/market share.

If you are willing to buy GOOG, you might as well get long BIDU too, for the love and sake of China.

And my controversial pick is: TSCM

Basically, the site (Thestreet.com) is a fucking albatross on financial sites everywhere. To sum up the site, from one of my French employees, “They fucking suck” (heavy french accent). However, with over $2.50 in net cash, Cramer would have to jump off a bridge or get fired from CNBC or something equally awful, in order to drive shares much lower.

Some other internet related names, with large net cash per share ratios include:

REDF, INSP, DIVX, DRIV, JRJC and VIGN.

It’s also worth noting, my gut check pick is VCLK, as evidenced by my recent purchases.

On the short side, I will remain steadfast in my wild eyed theories that Commercial RE is fucked. Aside from shorting KIM and VNO, TCO, IRC and SLG look somewhat doomful.

Within the banks, TCBI, PRSP, CFR, PACW, PCBC and EWBC look dreadful. I particularly like short Texas banks here, due to my bearish sentiments on crude.

Finally, I am against the inflation trade, as you know. To hedge my bets, I am short t-bills via TBT. But, sticking with the deflation trade, I am aghast by gold stocks up at these levels. Some names worth shooting at include: NEM, LIHR, AU and AEM.

All in all, 2009 will be chockful of many twists and turns. I am sure to fuck up many trades, as well as nail the majority. Nonetheless, the one thing that is a constant in this crazy, crazy world is the glorious victories, which shall be claimed by “The Fly,” with smaller ones by his iBC cohorts.

Moreover, I am sure most of you will encounter Mr. Clawhammer, at some point in your investment careers, while betting against him, in a most disrespectful way—as most beggarly men conduct themselves while cloaked in secrecy. I know this.

However, be made aware, when your little accounts reach the sum of $00.00, you will know why and how to behave, in the presence of unclouded greatness.

Good night.

UPDATE: Maybe you should wake up.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8CIblRiccc 450 300]

UPDATE II: This was already posted in KOPG. But, it is so funny I had to post it again. Denninger has nothing on this guy.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_gqxYGvJdI 450 300] If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

90 comments

  1. chivasontherocks
    chivasontherocks

    never trust a man that does not drink.

    what cognac do you sip?

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  2. BuyOnTheDip.com

    go internets!

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  3. The Fly

    I will not tell you.

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  4. The Fly

    HK sucks.

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  5. Juice

    ok, Horatio

    some good ideas in there

    danke shine

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  6. The Fly

    Mr. Clawhammer to you.

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  7. mrkcbill

    DIVX that symbol still makes me nauseous.

    Fly your a machine.

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  8. Juice

    Thanks for throwing us leeches a few crumbs, Mr Sir Clawhammer.

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  9. r

    fuck goog.
    seriously.
    is steel over?
    TBT finally coming in. about fucking time…

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  10. BuyOnTheDip.com

    INGRAM MICRO. (IM) … outperforms. hmmm.

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  11. TraderCaddy

    In one of Fly’s previous lives as a broker he was cold calling via horse and buggy amongst the cobblestones of NYC trying to peddle the IPOs for Laclede Gas Light Company and Distilling & Cattle Feeding Company.

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  12. T MOE

    Throwing SHIT against the wall is right. The banks are shit and so are the bastards that are running them.I think both C and BAC are in for some strong headwinds. BAC will find it harder to incorpporate Merrill than they planned. Shit they are still dealing with Countrywide’s bullshit and it is still in a down trend.Talking about banks, what the fuck is up with Goldman? Fucker runs from 66 to almost 90 in less than a month. Give me a fucking break. Yeah they have deleavered and they have sold off some of their CMBS, but what about the CDS’s they hold off the books? What about the decrease in Rev from the prop desk, where the bulk of thier earnings have come from in the past. Does this stock deserve to sky rocket like it has? Who the fuck is buying this bitch?

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  13. boca

    I’ll be sure to keep at least eight feet of respectful distance between myself and Mr. H. Clawhammer. I value the continued integrity of my skull should that clawhammer accidentally escape your hand.

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  14. buckye bob

    The Fly sounds like he watched too much PBS over the holidays

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  15. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Boca, I heard Vince Offer has an add on to the ShamWOW! package – it’s a titanium foil hat that protects your skull from errant claw hammers.

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  16. aumana

    The fist I saqw of this long FAZ long FAS thing, I looked to the comments, expecting to see some foolish commenter’s chest hairs being punched off, with the words: it’s a joke, stupid!

    Little do I know, period. But wasn’t the free money on the short side of both? Yes, I do know not.

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  17. boca

    Yogi, my husband asked me to order him a Slap Chop from Vince, so I’ll be sure to add a titanium hat to the order LOL.

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  18. JakeGint

    You are so wrong in your head.

    And yet, its so right.

    ____

    Aside: average price on my GOOG purchases in the “time of trial” (Nov-Dec) $294/sh.

    ___

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  19. nayr

    forget that. I won’t buy a bank, even for a trade.

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  20. JakeGint

    Buckeye Bob’s not going to like this, but I’m all “Longhorned” out tonight.

    That said, wtf with these incredibly ghey Tejas band uniforms?

    ____

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  21. JakeGint

    Laurennitus gotta be sayin’ to himself right now:

    “For THIS shit, I deferred a year of NFL comp?”

    ____

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  22. chessNwine

    FWLT is off to the races baby!

    Maybe the Fly will jump in after he gets his face ripped off from the coming VNO short squeeze

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  23. buckye bob

    Jake:

    I picked them horns tonight and actually I bleed blue and white as in the Nittany Lions (or is that Nit Wits after another big ten debacle out in CA)

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  24. JakeGint

    Whew, good thing the OSU alumni wrote the “right” check for the referee widows & orphans fund “pryor” to the game, eh?

    _____

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  25. JakeGint

    Buckeye– good to hear. Who doesn’t love Joe Pa, anyways? What heartless bastard? Show ‘im to me!

    And don’t feel bad about losing to that pro team from South Central. They’d have to give the Raiders 7.5 on a neutral field.

    ____

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  26. DEVILDOG

    VNO is going DOWN.

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  27. JakeGint

    Sweater Vest’s attempts at cheating go for nil. Suckeye’s blow another BCS opportunity.

    ____

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  28. DEVILDOG

    FWLT is going DOWN.

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  29. DEVILDOG

    Don’t mess with TEXAS!!!

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  30. CAP

    How ’bout my Longhorns !

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  31. JakeGint

    Vince’s commercial just came on after the game.

    I can’t help thinking: This dude very well could be Steve Buscemi’s handsome brother.

    ____

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  32. Da_bears

    STeel is on fire. We got ourselves a big rally coming

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  33. mrkcbill

    sweater vest should of worked the clock and kicked it with about 25 seconds on 3rd down. Giving TX ball with 2 minutes was like handing it to Elway…what kind of Defense was that?

    Now thats called shitting the shower!

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  34. RC

    indeed.

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  35. CAP

    mrkcbill – it looked to me like Texas allowed Ohio St. to score that touchdown with 2 mins to go so they could get the ball back. Mack Brown figured that as long as Texas played their hurry up offense, they could easily score a TD in 2 mins. Buckeyes had no answer to the Longhorns hurry up offense.

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  36. mrkcbill

    CAP…your exactly right. No way that guy waltzs into the endzone. Ding Dong should of run it up the gut 3 times and given it the boot.

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  37. Damon

    Hey, Fly:

    Short Texas Banks?

    How about IBOC?

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  38. Fly

    Again, I repeat- if you are long oil you are no different from a terrorist.

    Sleep on that,pal.

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  39. Aris

    that texas win was nuts. lol @ ‘the’ ohio state

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  40. JR

    CSL,

    Silver and gold prices worked their way higher during the week between Christmas and New Year, but remember that during that time most traders are away, so that trading sometimes is just a blip on the screen, meaning nothing. Gold closed out last week at US$878.80, and silver at 1146.5 cents. I held my breath. What would happen when the bandits returned to the market?

    Early on, the short sellers drove silver down to $10.90, and gold to the ropes of US$850. Did they break?

    Not for a minute. They began clawing their way up again. The gold price closed at $857.20, down 21.00, and the silver price at 11.24, down 22 cents. If you merely glance at those closes, you might mistakenly conclude that silver and gold had a tough down day. In truth, the black shirts on the floor played with the market last week. Today those phantom gains were lopped off, but more importantly, both silver and gold held above critical support ($11.00 and $850). Both bottomed back in November, ran up to the top of the trading channel, then traded sideways through Christmas.

    Following the typical seasonal pattern, gold and silver prices should rally well into the spring, taking gold above $1,200 and silver near the $28.00 mark.

    STOCKS are very slowly trying to pull up into a rally. Although the S&P500 has reached a respectable 927.45, the Dow just can’t climb over that fence at 9,000. Expect stocks to rally into the spring, too, but after 4 – 6 months to swoon again. Use this rally to sell off any stocks you may yet hold. If ever there was a “last chance”, this is it for stock investors. (Yes, I exempt from that recommendation precious metals stocks.)

    The US DOLLAR INDEX at 82.66 today showed a big one day jump — 116 basis points — but is only about 100 basis points above its December 23 close. We are not impressed. The dollar is struggling and wallowing like an old scow in high seas. Eventually it will sink.

    Before we go to sleep, y’all look at the GOLD/SILVER RATIO. It is driving toward the bottom of the range, and should shortly break through 70. A very big rally in silver and gold prices lie in front of us. Notice that as metals’ prices climb, premiums are slipping. I bought a few Austrian 100 coronas and Mexican 50 pesos today at rates that translate into 4.5% retail premiums, best we’ve seen in a long time. Platinum American Eagles are once again available, but at a starchy 5.5% premium at wholesale.

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  41. JR

    One more thing- I’m a homo.

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  42. ok, now what?

    “Again, I repeat- if you are long oil you are no different from a terrorist.”

    pssts. That is like saying you are a terrorist if you drive a car (gas-powered) or use a weedwacker. Long oil is just a hedge for road trips.

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  43. The Fly

    Maybe you are a terrorist.

    Are you?

    No law biding citizen should be long crude.

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  44. Da_bears

    good. im long oil cuz i want to make $$$$. And steel is the next place to make it. should be interesting gold silver tomorrow. SLX brakes out of symmetrical triangle on volume

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  45. T MOE

    Nikkei losing steam as the yen strengthens. Nikkei was up earlier.
    Looking for a nice melt down of S&P this week. Hopefully led by the dirty bitch XOM. Last summer oil was way north of 100 and XOM was at $83. Now oil is at $47 and XOM deserves to be at $82. I think not.

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  46. The Fly

    Steel breaks out now?

    Fucktard, you are three weeks late and 100% late.

    Go play in traffic.

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  47. The Fly

    Being long XOM is an act against the state.

    There I said it.

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  48. T MOE

    I can’t wait until Fly starts punching the mustaches off of the dirty Arabs who piss oil, and the stupid academics with their peak oil theory.

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  49. The Fly

    If you know anyone who is long oil, for the good of the state, please report him/her to your local magistrate.

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  50. T MOE

    I talked to a broker friend of mine today and he said that he was buying VNO looking for a break out to 70. I asked him what he was smoking and told him prepare to be donkey punched!
    I will get short VNO tomorrow just to take his money. He is cocky mother fucker so I don’t feel bad. Mark Twain said it best.
    “Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.”

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  51. The Fly

    Always bet against your broker. They are inherently evil.

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  52. ok, now what?

    CAP is the only one around here that blows himself up.
    We’re still not sure about DD.

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  53. T MOE

    Fly
    As you know I have shorted GS for some time now. I did get stopped out recently with this bullshit run up. Does it look like its over bought right now? All things that I have researched point to a melt down . They will post another loss in Feb IMO. And what about the fucking CDS’s these fuckers hold off of their books?

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  54. The Fly

    Ok, now what:

    I suspect you are long oil. I just reported you to my local magistrate.

    Sorry.

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  55. The Fly

    GS is way overextended.

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  56. ok, now what?

    shit, busted. Tell him he can find me and my weedwacker hanging out somewhere along Atlantic Ave.

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  57. T MOE

    I hate GS mostly because Cramer loves it and sucks the cock of anyone affiliated with Goldman. And because of Paulson’s dumb ass.
    Cramer is a fucking idiot and should be banded by the fucking SEC. What a fucking joke he is. I can’t believe the fools who call into his show and believe every word he says.

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  58. T MOE

    Damn Fly do you ever sleep. Its past my bed time and I am on the west coast and have to wake up early to catch the opening

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  59. The Fly

    Sleep is for pussies.

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  60. Danny

    iBC dictionary has been fulled updated thru 08.

    http://www.ibankcoin.com/dannyblog/index.php/ibankcoincom-dictionary/

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  61. iHateCramer

    Fly, TSCM? really?

    No matter how cash rich that company may be, you should know better that Cramer is a curse that will only cause people who are associated with him in any way to loose money. If his stupid articles on real money are not enough, he will jump from a bridge and die just to make you loose money. He is shameless man. Don’t fight him. you should drop TSCM from your godly list. don’t you think?

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  62. The Fly

    I am not buying TSCM. All I am saying, it is cheap, based upon traditional metrics.

    However, sites like Ibankcoin are eating, and I said eating, mind you, their market share.

    Nonetheless, TSCM can be bought in the high 2’s.

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  63. The Fly

    I take it “horse nuked” will be in the 2009 edition?

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  64. Danny

    horse nuked is in there

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  65. Anton Cigur

    Based upon traditional metrics, Cramer would be the gleeful dwarf who successfully carnival barked the rubes into the freakshow tent, later to be tarred and feathered on his way out of town.

    Ah, the good old days.

    “TSCM can be bought in the high 2’s” demonstrates laudable emotional detachment.

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  66. The Fly

    As a point in fact, Horse Nuked is NOT defined, only mentioned.

    Hilarious stuff.

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  67. Danny

    weird.

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  68. starScreamPowerPlay
    starScreamPowerPlay

    Thanks. Agree Goog will sell off hard when the time comes.

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  69. You cannot win against BIG OIL – its tentacles are everywhere – even magistrates are on its take – sorry. On a brighter note, Steve Jobs cough is much better.

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  70. London

    Oil’s going to $10; I heard it here first … 😉 Not destined to be one of Fly’s longer-remembered calls. It’s time for him to declare victory on having been secretly bullish throughout. Oil demand has troughed at a whopping minus a few % from peak. Now what?

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  71. Needless to Say

    Anyone short oil is getting clown raped. I suggest using some of that oil on your sphincter to lessen the pain.

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  72. The Fly

    Conversely, anyone long oil is a terrorist/terrorist sympathizer.

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  73. The Fly

    Select European financials trading lower: LYG -10.5%, RBS -6.9%, CS -3.1%, DB -1.8%, UBS -1.7%

    In backwards world, that means our banks should go up.

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  74. little2rich4u

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  75. BOOMER

    Love the second video.

    “…white, old; a fuckin’ hustla.”

    Kids’ got a couple of points, doesn’t he?
    ___________

    Also:

    “I am not buying TSCM. All I am saying, it is cheap, based upon traditional metrics.”

    So, on a valuation basis, TSCM is cheap?

    Oh the irony!

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  76. IBC needs to add “circle head” to the IBC dictionary.
    I just looked it up…That’s damn funny Fly!!

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  77. The Fly

    “Circle Head” will be in the ’09 edition.

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  78. ottnott

    “-”

    Priceless.

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  79. ottnott

    Danny, “Carlsbad Gap” is a term begging to be added to the 2009 version – if we can find one primary usage amongst the many potential usages.

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  80. gappingandyapping
    gappingandyapping

    Ok I am done riding DXO here, I am up around 50% and am happy with that move. Also congrats to Devildog on calling the drop in Gold when I thought it would rise.

    I will re-enter DXO on pullbacks.

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  81. boca

    I love that second video from Hood Estate.

    “The color is Green, never forget that!”

    So true.

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  82. Freddy Krueger

    Im back again slashing bear’s throat with shipping stocks…YAH

    Do you think a PE of .65 in DRYS is cheap? EXM .84? DSX 5.23?

    Banking coin again at the expense of the bears.

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  83. Granpa

    gapping, nice call on DXO. When you made the call the bitch just looked too scary. Nice job!

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  84. ottnott

    SRS is letting us know that it won’t be rolled off the cliff any more.

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  85. sniper6

    Lottery stock + Nasdaq deficient = success.

    NFLD

    FDA granted Priority Status for Phase III trial review for blood substitute Polyheme. News is a week old but money seeking “safe” shelter in health care/biotech sector still coming in. Or is it just stock manipulation? Matters not to me. Goin’ up. Possible short developing if it fails. Either way, I’m in.

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  86. Freddy Krueger

    Kind of ironic…residential construction stocks moving up while SRS going down…?

    Anyway, no relative strength on SRS

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  87. blow up

    We Roll;

    I will wait until the break out ends. Short oil and FAZ will rule when Bull Trap ends. I just bought a new SWING set for this year. It only has two seats [oversold reversal and overbought reversal]. Overbought buried is on for now and is dangerous in a bear market if you are short.

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