 | Are we supposed to write about stocks???by patrick on July 14th, 2008 at 5:37 pm |
(17 votes, average: 3.59 out of 5)
Loading ...So, I have now been dating this girl for a while. Things have been progressing to some extent (we now bicker about nothing, so that must mean the relationship is in full force), but we took a nice big backslide yesterday.
A little background if you please, just to make this story a tad more complete. I am 26 (not yet the eye-brow punching 47 ½) with a complex about my hair. Now, for the record, I am not bald. I am not Jim Cramer, Ed Harris, or Sinead O’Connor, please believe that. However, my temples have been receding now for the last year and a half. It’s become so much of an issue that I have now started using Rogaine in those areas. Does the shit work? I have yet to determine. Honestly, I probably should have taken some gooberific pictures at weird angles to see my progress, or lack thereof, but I digress.
Anyways, she knows it’s an issue of mine.
There we were, driving in her convertible on the freeway with her top down (Daddy bought the Benz for her, of course), and I become uncomfortable. Dammit, I could feel the wind blowing my hair every which way, and I get self conscious. I ask if we could stop with the douchbaggery and put the top back up, but she makes some lame complaint about wanting a fucking suntan, and it being California, and blaaaaa.
Anyway, she then has the audacity to look at my hair, and say I am starting to look old. What the fuck?!? How could I even react to that?
I first wanted to compliment her thunder thighs. Next I wanted to wax poetically about her amazing degree from college (Recreation Administration, ie. Party Planning), and how the jobs were just rolling in for her after graduation. Then I wanted to whisper sweet nothings about how she is still supported by her grandparents, and her family is just one big freeloading parasite on society. But what did I do? Nothing, but smile and awkwardly laugh.
Then I punched her in the stomach (like I was going for her mustache), just to be sure that she wasn’t carrying my child.
BTW: Get long tech. Also, I bought [[ESV]] calls this morning.
this was a great post.
July 14th, 2008 at 6:35 pmFunny … until you suggested getting long tech !
If you were serious about your hairline
http://www.naturalsecrets.com/ovhaircream.html
I just bought it for my brothers . Its too early to know if it works yet but I’ve bought their creme universal skin product which is the real deal. All the women in the family love it and its helped my old man out with skin issues. Its completely natural. In fact, their products need refrigeration.
July 14th, 2008 at 6:45 pmWord on the street is that the OV hair cream gives you bitch tits. True story.
jk. Thanks juice
July 14th, 2008 at 6:47 pmYou are a loser Patrick and you need to change your style of humor. This is the stupidest post ever submitted on the iBC site.
July 14th, 2008 at 6:52 pmLove you too, Gwar.
Now go back to wearing your white collar and molesting little boys.
Also, I smell a person over 47 1/2 given that they use the douchebag moniker of gwar.
Salutations,
July 14th, 2008 at 6:59 pmpatrick
Self conscious about your hair?
You have no idea, friend-o.
July 14th, 2008 at 7:16 pmGood stuff!
July 14th, 2008 at 7:18 pmJust wax that shit off. Poof, no more hair-complex!
July 14th, 2008 at 7:26 pmSounds like she may a good candidate for your next ex-wife, though.
Dude, there are more important things to worry about than your hair.
Like your portfolio for instance.
You think Sam Zell has any want for the bitches? No, of course not. He’s got them running hot and cold stashed in various manses througout the countryside.
Dude, you could be a blind, toothless, clubfooted gimp, and the most beauteous and big breastessedded womens will love you if you’ve got the flash.
To that end, continue to focus on your portfolio skills, via the goodly folks at iBC and elsewhere, and you won’t have to worry if your hair migrates from your pate to your ass (it will, that is like death and taxes, unfortunately).
Update: As an example, if you learned from Alpha Dog (he’s told you) that most stock prices are sector driven, you’d take one look at the NDX’s recent break below support and run screaming from the tech you are hyping above.
In this manner, you will avoid getting stuck with the homely whiny ones.
That is all.
July 14th, 2008 at 7:46 pm_
Great shit all!
July 14th, 2008 at 7:57 pmjust be glad you still got both nuts!
July 14th, 2008 at 10:03 pmShame on you for not having a witty reply to her diss of you.
Being self conscious about your youth is normal. However, it’s worth noting, you need to get heavy on that pimp hand.
In short, quit being an insecure/bald motherfucker and start making some coin. This way, with coin, you can buy a diamond whig and tell your lady to get to the back of the line, for “Diamond Jim” is booked for the next 12 weeks.
July 15th, 2008 at 12:46 amI’m definitely looking into that diamond whig.
July 15th, 2008 at 1:52 pmI should apologize Patrick. You have the brains and the balls to post on this site where some elite traders reside, and I respect that. I myself have never posted any kind of article here, but would like to if I could muster up some original thought. You have good posts man, I just didn’t like the ending to this article. It did not sit with me well. But hey, its just a joke
Good day
July 15th, 2008 at 5:48 pmPatrick - I have perfect, thick hair and am a lonely 36 year old man living in a 1 bedroom apartment. Good hair is over-rated.
July 15th, 2008 at 10:59 pm